Early yesterday morning we touched down back in Melbourne for the mid-year break. Our flight into Hong Kong was delayed by a few hours but fortunately we made the connection.
I’ve become rather used to flying by now, which is not something I would have expected to happen just a couple of years ago. I’ve even been randomly upgraded to premium economy seats a couple of times — three cheers for British Airways, by the way — and although I hadn’t been delayed by enough to risk missing a connection before, I was fairly comfortable with how the whole thing panned out.
But something has happened since we landed. I don’t yet feel like I’m really here; everything seems foggy and I’m finding it impossible to make (even — no, especially — minor) decisions. I hope that catching up with our friends will help. So far I’ve only seen the family and the cats. But I’ve missed them at least as much as the other people I’ve been looking forward to seeing, so I don’t really know what I actually need. But whatever the cause, I feel like I’m just going through things on autopilot.
I don’t think this is just an effect of coming home — certainly it didn’t happen last year. I think it’s been building up for a while. Some of the changes at campus this year have not done my mental health any favours; I’m trying to have some of them reversed, which should be a fairly minor thing (it would be no skin off anyone’s nose) but I’m encountering the sort of maddening bureaucratism that you’d more reasonably expect at a place with ten times the staff. At least part of my current stress level is due to having to deal with those problems over the break, rather than taking a break from them.
I really hope things clear up soon and I can start to feel at home. This sort of funk is not fun at all.